Archived News:
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7/20/02 - 1/26/03    1/26/03 - current

 February 14, 2002  3.06pm est  - Togaen

I am so pissed off right now. I hate people. I was in my car near the mound waiting to get across Wayne street. There was long line on Wayne so I couldn't see the other side of the road. There was a break in the line right in front of me. The jerk who had stopped and caused the break honks and waves at me to go ahead and cross. So I did. The moment I get to the other side of the road all I see is this red car slam on it's brakes and stop scant inches from my passenger door. Right about then I felt like parking my car, going over to that bastard who waved me across (and who, of course, was driving an SUV... I hate those fucks), punching him/her in the face and throwing them into oncoming traffic.

I am so mad. Even more so because this happens every time someone is "kind" enough to tell when it is "safe" to cross. Every damn time. I'm not exaggerating... every single solitary god damned time. I want to kill that fucker... well not really... just beat them senseless I suppose... wait, they have no sense... um, hurt very badly... no wait, even better, hurt their family very badly. Yes, that would do. You know, very few things actually make me angry; but what does is mostly comprised of idiots and the idiot things they do- like wave people across streets into traffic. What a fucking retard. Jesus Christ. I hope they have a dog or something... or a kid... I'd strap the person down, tape their eyes open, then take their pet/kid and subject them to huge amounts of radiation right in front of the person... just so they could watch their pet/kid melt. Retribution this way comes.

 February 14, 2002  1.00pm est  - Togaen

Unintelligible Redesign
The "New" Creationism

Slate is fastly becoming a favourite website of mine... the one resplendent retreat in an otherwise endless ocean of sludge and filth that is MSN.

The Longest Ear Hair in the World

Answer to yesterday's trick question: Zero. Now for today's trick question: Why?

 February 13, 2002  2.56pm est  - Togaen

Random Cannibal Corpse song titles:

  • Force Fed Broken Glass
  • Hammer Smashed Face
  • Stripped, Raped and Strangled
  • Orgasm Through Torture
  • Butchered at Birth
  • Fucked with a Knife
  • A Skull Full of Maggots
  • Mummified in Barbed Wire
  • Post Mortum Ejaculation
  • I Will Kill You
  • Shredded Humans
  • I Cum Blood
  • Necropedophile
  • Puncture Wound Massacre
  • Meat Hook Sodomy
  • Entrails Ripped Through a Virgin's Cunt
Aren't they heartwarming? Now for today's trick question: What, in actuality, is the shortest distance between two points?

The answer will be posted when I feel like it. Tell me before I post it and get that special feeling only my loving caress can bring.

 February 12, 2002  12.35pm est  - Togaen

     I am moved by fancies that are curled
Around these images, and cling:
The notion of some infinitely gentle
Infinitely suffering thing.

                                            - T.S. Eliot

Ever watch day-time shows? The interior design ones? Ever notice that if it's a woman hosting the show she is kinda butch; and if it is a man hosting the show he is kinda fruity? I thought that was interesting.

 February 10, 2002  10.51pm est  - Togaen

By the way everyone, this is just badass right here:

The Quicken Tax Freedom Project

If you made less the $25k last year (I think most of you did... if not, you are a swarmy bastard) you can file your state and federal taxes electronically and for free by clicking the above link. Is that awesome or what? I did it; and I suggest you all do it. No strings, no catches... and let me tell you, this site is just about as slick as snot- maybe even slicker. Not only that, but you can have the refund deposited directly into your bank account.

Go team Quicken on this one, they REALLY know how to get on the consumer's good side. Bookmarking that page is probably a good idea, because you have to go to that page everytime you log-in. Dunno why, but they say that about eight million times so it must be important. In other words: read the directions. That goes without saying, but I said it anyway because I am a stubborn bastard.

 February 10, 2002  11.06am est  - Togaen

Look at both of your hands right now...

Yes, now.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Ménagè a trois!

 February 7, 2002  5.58pm est  - Togaen

You didn't think it could get any worse, did you...


 February 7, 2002  11.15am est  - Togaen

Curling iron? Make that six curling irons, at the same time.


 February 5, 2002  10.19pm est  - Togaen

I hope Fred Durst is sodomized with hot curling iron, force fed two gallons of Chlorox then hit repeatedly in the stomach with a Louisville slugger. Very hard.

Go here and click the link at the bottom.

 February 5, 2002  4.19pm est  - Togaen

Find what's new, win a cookie.

 February 4, 2002  4.35pm est  - Togaen

The REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!

 February 4, 2002  3.42pm est  - Togaen

As exemplified by several previous posts, my sense of humour is, bar none, simply the best. Check out this absolutely classic joke:

It is just after the biblical flood and Noah is herding the many paired animals from the ark into the downy fresh world. One by one the animals go forth and multiply... except... except for the pair of adders. Noah takes notice of this and tries to coerce the celebate pair into the joys of procreation; he tries everything. Satin sheets, candle-lit dinners, moon-lit walks, roofies, but nothing works. Much time is passing and he begins to fear that he will fail God. Desparate, Noah pleads with the creator to help him with this crisis... much to Noah's delight, the good lord answers. "Noah," God says in a strangely effeminate voice, "you have served me well, and your heart is true... so I will help you. You must find and cut down several young spruce trees. When you have done this, pray to me again, and I will further instruct you." Noah does as he is instructed and again prays to the lord. God again answers, and Noah realizes that the voice is not merely effeminate, but quite feminine. "You have done well Noah. Now make a table from the trunks of these trees and place the adders upon the table. Leave them for the night, and all will be well." Noah is befuddled at such direction, but he knows he is dealing not only with God, but a woman, and so does as he is told.

The night comes and goes.

In the morn, Noah eagerly checks the adders and is amazed to find hundreds of writhing babies amassed atop his makeshift surface. Elated and unable to contain his joy, Noah cries out in rapture and prayer, "Oh great and wonderful God, thank you for your guidance! Now please tell that I may share this holy knowledge with my kin, why was I to make this construction for the adders to mate?" Put in good spirits by such praise, God chuckles and replies. "Dearest Noah, because of your service I feel it proper to share my ways this once. It is quite simple really- adders just need log tables to multiply." and Noah thanked the almighty for her guidance.

Is that great or what? I will give you a moment to collect yourself... okay, here is another one:

Q: Why did the cat fall off the roof?
A: Because it lost its µ.

Folks, comedy doesn't get any better than that. So the funny hat I abandon for a moment... how about a useful everyday tip. If you mix equal volumes and concentrations of sodium hydroxide and hydrochloric acid you will get salt water; cool, huh? Amaze family and friends with that one... but amaze them slowly, the reaction is exothermic.

Let's see, what else have I in the store of my mind. Hmm... a Buddhist walks into a Pizza Hut and says, "Make me one with everything". Haahahahha, oh man, I still laugh everytime I hear that one. How about Navy joke:

There's a new guy aboard a Navy ship and after awhile he stops the captain and says, "Hey captain, bein' on the ship is fun and all, but what do you guys do around here for women?" The captain looks at him gravely and says, "Well... you see that barrel over there? The one with the hole in it?" the guy says yeah and the captain continues, "That's pretty much it. You can use it anytime you want... well, anytime but wednesday." The guys says, "Oh, alright..." but then he gets to thinking and says, "well now wait a minute, why any day but wednesday... that's kinda strange..." and the captain smirks and says, "Oh nothing strange about it, that's just your day in the barrel."

Oh yes, I can change gears just like that.

 February 4, 2002  2.40pm est  - Togaen

World got you down? Feel like you have nowhere to turn? Are you all alone is this crazy world? Well my door is always open, but I think this man is much better... equipped... to help you through these troubling times.

Just a little goodness from my archive of fun and educational links.

 February 4, 2002  12.29am est  - Togaen

Normally I try not to p1mp my own site, but for the enjoyment of all and chagrin of one, I have a little something gleaned from my chat logs with Tristan "D'ni" Reitz... I wonder where he got such a middle name, probably from some lame video game... ; ) anyway, if you're one that knows what's good for you you won't look. But if you're even reading this you obviously do not fall under that category so read up; you know where it is.

I have a weird love affair with commas. 97.359% of the time I use them I don't need them. If you all could see me type these posts, you'd know what I mean. Do you see that comma right after 'posts' in the previous sentence? It should not be there. But I left it there... as a warning... if you are wise you will heed it.

On the other hand, I love p1mping other peoples sites. Especially Paul's (since it's... better than mine... *snicker*) and Tristan's which really is better than mine.

I have underlining disabled for hyperlinks on most of my site; and any words you read here in this color are clickable links (except for, ironically, the words "this color"). You see, I would be neither "hip" nor "cool" if I did not do that. Have you seen other personal websites? Underlined hyperlinks are SO early nineties. But I am also the rebel... you will notice that in all those other sites, they use lower case arial fonts. Well not me. Oh no. I am all about Times New Roman... and not only do I embrace serifs, I use uPpEr CaSe letters- that's right, I live on the edge. I risk ostracization, I risk hate, I risk flame mail... and I do it all for you.

Love me.

Good gracious, it is nearly midnight-thirty, I have class in the morning.

 February 2, 2002  2.44pm est  - Togaen

I realized something today... it doesn't matter who you are or where you are; it is simply impossible to look like a badass when you're pushing a shopping cart. It just can not be done. Weird.

 January 29, 2002  10.15pm est  - Togaen

Today really fucking sucked. I just thought the world should know that.

 January 29, 2002  4.24pm est  - Togaen

"I am a big man,
yes I am,
and I've got a big gun,
got me a big ol' dick and I,
I like to have fun,
held against your forehead,
well I'll make you suck it,
maybe I'll put a hole in your head,
ya know,
just for the fuck of it.
I can reduce you, if I want,
I can devour,
I'm hard as fucking steel,
I've got the power,
I'm every inch a man,
and I'll show you somehow,
me and fuckin' gun,
nothing can stop me now...
I'm gonna cum all over you,
me and my fuckin' gun."

Name that tune.

 January 28, 2002  11.59am est  - Togaen

Q: Why was the hydroxyl ion afraid of the rabbi?
A: Because the rabbi was an acidic jew.

Did you know that for any integer a, the statement a³ - a will always be divisible by 3 (or 3|(a³ - a) as the mathematicians like to say)? Is that awesome or what? Go ahead, try it; it always works and I can prove it.

3³ - 3 = 24 or 3 · 8
7³ - 7 = 336 or 3 · 112
2,987³ - 2,987 = 26,650,515,816 or 3 · 8,883,505,272

"Now Jeff", you say, "I have tried it and I am amazed and astounded and will not rest this from my mind until you relay this mystical proof". Fear not intrepid reader, I was once in your seat (just this morning as a matter of point) and understand completely this burning yearning you feel inside. Thusly following then, is the proof:

a³ - a
a · (a² - 1)
a · (a + 1) · (a - 1)

Doesn't that blow your mind? Don't you want to just jump up and make sweet sweet love to that proof right on the spot? You see, taking together (a - 1), a and (a + 1) encompasses a span of three integers, therefore for any integer a, one of these three will be a multiple of three and therefore the statement a · (a + 1) · (a - 1) will always be a multiple of three and therefore will always be divisible by three... or 3|(a³ - a) will always be true for any integer a. I love my Number Theory course.

Typing this post was funny because in HTML a looks like <b>a</b> which looks like bab which is funny because the post was about math and bab has nothing to do with math.

Yeah yeah yeah... you can all just shut up. I am a simple man, with simple pleasures.

Now if it had been BAB that wouldn't be nearly so funny because BAB is hexidecimal for 2,987... which would really be more a coincidence than a funny.

 January 26, 2002  11.58am est  - Togaen

Try this: sing The Raven to the tune of Sober. Notice something? Sober is written in exactly the same meter as The Raven... octameter. I thought that was neat.

 January 24, 2002  4.09pm est  - Togaen

Did you know that human childbirth is by far the most painful and difficult in all the animal kingdom? Do you know why? It is because of our heads. Our big, fat heads. In other primates, the child is born facing up, but in humans it is born facing down... this is because the baby has to do some gymnastics to make it through the birth canal in one piece; the size of the head is also the reason women's hips are so much wider than mens; any smaller and the baby wouldn't fit (I have an awesome article on this if anyone is interested, it's about the evolution of human intelligence- really cool stuff... and unless it's in the magazine Tristan stole, you are all welcome to it). Anyway, so here you have it, human females have the most difficult births of all animals simply because of the size of our brains. Kind of ironic when you think that the women go through so much agony just so men can find bigger and better ways to blow things up.

But hey, blowing things up is cool, so it's worth it.

 January 23, 2002  3.59pm est  - Dave

Hi everyone. It's been awhile. Anyway, let me update you on what has happened in my life since Jeff's site has been down. Well, on New Years eve, I came home to find myself two minutes before the ball dropped. Man, after that, all hell broke loose. I was feeling a bit hot and excited that night. I had to find someone or something to get jiggy wit..... To my surprise, I see a Scooby Doo sitting on the ground. So I picked him up and started pounding him in his puppy dogg ass and even as a stuffed fucking animal, I still think he felt it. My friends were all staring in desire cuz they wanted a piece of me too. But they just whacked off while I rammed away at Scooby's tight fucking puppy dog ass. I fucked Scooby upside down, inside out that night. Then I blew my wad in his Scooby Doo ass and his head popped. I sat for a minute with exhaustion in my breathe and looked at Scooby again. Then I started to ram my totem pole up his now loose scooby ass. Yeah, he felt that one pretty good. I got to the point where I couldn't breathe and I just blew my wad of mayo. look alike juise inside of scooby and then he blew up. (Sorry Audra, I'll buy you another Scooby). Well, to my surprise Audra's room was now covered in what they call "Dave's semen of wealth". Holy shit was the room messy. It seemed like it was melting but if you look closely, it was just my semen trying to crawl into Jeff's ass cuz he is so hot ya know. But I couldn't let my semen little friends eradicate my real friend, so I decided to grab a hooker and have her lick them all up. The night was young and I fell asleep that night. I dreamed about Scooby. Oh well, look at the time. I must depart to work. Adios.

 January 21, 2002  10.03pm est  - Togaen

Cube 0wnz... and now I have backers. With such a shining example of man's evolutionary supremacy in my court, do you really think you can still be right? That's right. Give in. You know you like it.

This is cool.

It sat tranquilly transfixed,
with eyes upon a land that grew steadily distant into black,
with feet upon a land that grew steadily unsteady;
there came a moment when eyes saw naught,
blind a moment, and feet felt naught-
it then was swallowed whole.

 January 21, 2002  11.26am est  - Togaen

Tristan and Audra have shed some light on this immensely important biological clock question of mine. You see, I had assumed that your body had something like a master clock which everything referenced for timing; I made this assumption because it would be the efficient thing to do. Now there is just one example of why computer scientists should never be doctors... and one more example of just how different man and machine are. Since machines have been my main course of study for some time now, I was in a mind set that assumed certain parts for certain functions, and where those functions are needed in other parts they are referenced in the parts that have them. Then I tried to apply that thinking to biology...

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

The body is designed with survivability in mind, not efficiency. Redundancy is the key; the more parts that can compensate for each other in case of emergency, the better. So here it is. What was bothering me was the fact that I had only considered one possible solution... either timing was a cerebral thing, or it was autonomous. But duh, why have one when you can have two? For heartbeats, there is a need for what amounts to a physical timer (which in the course of my investigation I discovered to be the hypothalamus). But for most everything else it is a learned trait. A learned trait. How can you "learn" how to keep time? Well, that is where my investigation now stands. Maybe this is in fact a higher brain function. There certainly must be an inherent physical design that allows us to keep time, just as there is inherent physical design that allows us to use language; but just like language it is NOT something that is present at birth... the brain provides the building blocks, but we have to put them together, so to speak.

This is really getting interesting. It's starting now to encompass another question I had... that being how can we percieve elapsed time. I mean, we've all done things where we've sort of lost track of time but even in those situations we are able to keep time. Does that make sense? Probably not... say for instance you are a drummer, and you go down to practice for two or three hours. By the time you really get into it, you've lost all track of time- two hours passes like two minutes. BUT, you have obviously been able to keep time since you are playing drums. It's the same situation with video games. With any game really. I'm starting to think there may be a hierarchy, at the base is the hypothalamus with a constant tempo. A little higher up is the cerebral timing function, and a little higher than that is the percieved elapsed time function. How they interrelate I don't know. Hell, if they even exist I don't know. But that is my thinking.

I will be sure to keep all abreast of my findings. I know this is enthralling.

I'm going back to my roots. Back to real science. Computers are interesting, certainly lucrative, and to a point worthy of study... but really, they're boring. When I was young they were magical boxes that could do anything; now that I know how they work, however, there is no magic left. There is nothing a computer can do that a human can't. Nothing. This is obvious because humans made them; if we couldn't do it how could we tell a computer how? Computers are just neat because there are some things they can do alot faster than people can. I was reading an article on microarchitecture in Scientific American and they were talking about needed advancements in processor design. To give example of just how lacking current products are, they compared the Pentium 4 to the human brain. The average Pentium 4 weighs almost nothing- a few grams, yet it dissipates 80 watts of power. The human brain weighs about 6.6 kilograms and it dissipates only 25 watts of power. Says something, doesn't it? An organ a thousand times more massive and immeasureable more powerful than the P4 dissipates little more than a third the power. The real world is far more interesting than that constructed by ourselves. I plan on keeping the CS degree as something to fall back upon, and to pursue far more interesting studies in cosmology and physics.

The world needs me. This is cool.

Does anyone know where the word 'philosophy' comes from? I do. It comes from the greek words 'sophia' and 'philus'. Sophia is wisdom, and philus is erotic love. A philosopher is like a pedophile, only with enlightenment instead of kiddies. Did you know that in ancient Athens whorehouses were favourite gathering places of philosophers... they would go there for both physical and mental stimulation; and more often than not, the prostitutes were providing both. Hypathia was famous for her intellect and thinkers from all around would come to discuss the world with her... in fact there is a rumour (though likely untrue) that she is the person that coined the word 'philosophy'. Such a world. Where the sexual energies of the mind and body are one; where the ultimate arousal is the intercourse of minds... I think I was born 2,500 years too late. It's hard enough anymore getting intellectuals to have intellectual discussions, let alone prostitutes.

 January 20, 2002  11.12am est  - Togaen

Someone is just going to have to tell these girls that Tristan's manhood only goes so far... so so far... and that he can't possibly give them both the pleasure and attentions they so rightly deserve... they will just have to share him, and in the interest of efficiency, they should do so at the same time. It really is best for all involved.

 January 17, 2002  11.50am est  - Togaen


 January 13, 2002  9.03pm est  - Togaen

This is disgusting; and all done in the name of political correctness. Political correctness. What a joke. The whole point of this ideology is to prevent bias, to make sure that everyone is treated as a person... not a black person, not a white person, not a latino person, but a person. Political correctness aimes to remove distinctions between different types of people (which I think is absurd to begin with)... we want everyone to treat people as if these differences didn't exist. Now how in gods name can the promoters of this philosophy hope to achieve that when they spend all their time accentuating these differences? Doesn't that strike anyone as mildly counterproductive? I tell you what, our entire touchy-feely public relations process needs a hefty dose of a little pill I call reality. I think I will go on a tirade now.

Political correctness is a joke and an insult to the human race. It is entirely counter-intuitive, counterproductive, and hopeless to try and convince people that everyone is the same; that we all have equal opportunity. It's not true. Never was. Never will be. There are differences, physiological and mental differences, between different genders, races, ethnicities even socio-economic classes. To say otherwise is not only profoundly stupid but a waste of breath; and this is no secret. Everyone knows that blacks are different than whites are different than asians are different than latinos are different than indians... ad nauseam. What is going on currently is the mass proliferation of ignorance; whoever is promoting PC is attempting strengthen our country by eradicating knowledge and awareness of these differences- "Ignorance is strength." Does that phrase ring a bell with anyone? It was preceeded by two others: "War is peace./Freedom is slavery./..." and those three phrases were preceeded by the fading face of Big Brother as Winston Smith, amid a room of people mad with mindless frenzy, watched a telescreen at the end of a room. Parallels between 1984 and political culture are often and easily drawn, but that is only because there is a common tendency of falling into the trap that is so clearly drawn in that book; that often, instead of righting a wrong, right is redefined so that the wrong becomes right. It's easier that way. People fear what they don't understand, and these differences between types of people cause fear because people don't understand them... so they try to make them go away. That is a childish and utterly ineffective approach. Not only is it ineffective, but will ultimately make things worse. We, as a nation, and a world (though this is mostly a 1st world problem), need to be adult and take responsibility for ourselves. We need to learn these differences, for better or worse, so that we can learn how to interact not only without pissing each other off, but to also utilize our different abilities to their fullest. Different types of people are inherently better at certain things; like it or not, this is true and can be shown statistically. Men are more likely to be better at math than women; women are more likely to have larger vocabularies than men. Blacks are more likely to be better at athletics. Whites are more likely to be better at academics. Asians are more likely to be better at engineering. All this bullshit about trying to erase bias is just crap. Bias has, does and will always exist. It's instinctual. I was watching a show on discovery the other day, and they were documenting a herd of gazelles. One of the gazelles was albino. The other gazelles harassed it and eventually drove it out of the herd. Bias isn't a learned trait- it is a survival trait. We can't expect these instincts to magically disappear just because we're "civilized". No, there are only two ways to get rid of them: either breed them out or engineer them out, neither of which are very plausible at the moment. People seem to think that we have total control over ourselves... we don't. A scant 10,000 years ago these instincts provided a vital funtion in keeping the human species alive; and now we just expect them to go away because we don't need them anymore? You want to overturn millions of years of evolution with legislation? Sorry, won't happen; mother nature is a sovereign entity. I blame alot of that attitude on western religion and it's suggestion that humans are above and separate from the animals- I blame the rest of it on stupid people. Alright, I've vented enough steam that I can come to a conclusion now. My suggestion for the world is this: Grow up. Recognize the fact that there are differences among the human species (no one seems to have trouble recognizing differences in the dog species, it boggles me as to why they refuse to recognize differences between people) and treat them accordingly. It is better in the long run, people are happier because they will be in environments that are comfortable to them, and the clouds will form smiley faces and the forecast for eternity will be sunny skies and 23C.

Don't even get me started on why America hasn't converted to the metric system.

 January 11, 2002  12.47pm est  - Togaen

A good 80% of this site has changed in some way; some things are gone that were here, some things are here that were not. If, as I suspect, most come here from boredom this should provide temporary reprieve from that state whence you came.

I said I wasn't going to do the e-mail thing anymore... but it turns out I couldn't have if I wanted to, freeservers has discontinued that service. Go figure.

 January 10, 2002  6.09pm est  - Togaen

Everyone go here. It's Tristan with an open outlet to the world... I, frankly, am scared, but then, I've also got it bookmarked. ; )

That little wang dang of a piece I mentioned below has actually fallen, so I guess that means I'm obligated now. Hm. I'll do my homework and then decide how to handle this.

Yes, I actually said I was going to do homework... you see... it's already begun.

 January 9, 2002  10.34pm est  - Togaen

I was driving around today... and I actually enjoyed it. Usually I don't like driving too much, but this time was different. This time, I could see. I feel so much safer now that things at a mild distance aren't indecipherable smudges. And part of my foray was at night... wow... usually nighttime looks like some horribly compressed jpeg... but this time... there was definition, there was contrast, there was colour, there was... dare I say it... beauty. Yes, I looked at the Taco Bell building at 6.30pm and the first thing that came to mind was "my god, that's beautiful". Does that give any indication of how bad my eyes are? I've been wearing my specs since Monday and I still can't get over it- the whole world is a new place. 20/20 rocks.

And to think, I just drove to and from Iowa over christmas. I wish I would have had my spiffy glasses then. Oh well.

I've been also thinking further of my biological timekeeping quandry. I was thinking and thinking and I started thinking about why animals evolved a sense of time; why are we even able to tell time? I really doubt plants have any capacity for evaluating time, true they follow seasons, but I'd think that's just a stimulus-response, not a calculated activity. So I thought about what animals do that would require a sense of time. At first I'd labeled it a predatory trait. A predator species will have to time an attack, predict movements, that sort of thing, which requires at least a short term sense of time. But then I got to thinking about it and realized that movement of any sort requires a sense of time... duh. You have to move your legs at time intervals, chew at intervals, and fuck at intervals.

Of course you can think around that for awhile, but still the question comes up, "What, phsyiologically, is time?". In other words, exactly how does one know that time has passed? How is it measured? Of course you can carry that line further and ask, "Well, what then is time?". You know, there are alot of things I wish I knew, and that's way way up there. Dave gave me a good idea a long time ago that it has something to do with entropy; that time is somehow a measure of the general increase in entropy of the universe (entropy and time have much in common, they always increase, and their rate of increase slows down as relative speed increases). I'm sure there's something fun there that could be done with relativity, but I just don't know what. What's exciting here is that there may be some absolute reference for time and something we can base a time system on, not just arbitrary values like the second. In other words, time may only be a count of increments of the increase of entropy: one unit increase in time per one unit increase in entropy. There is a smallest possible unit of energy to the universe- Plancks constant- so if correlated with entropy time eventually does have to have a basic unit. Man, I wish I had the degrees to carry out this investigation.

Then of course there is memory. Memory is the ability to retain and recall past experience. Where do I begin. How is it that the brain can keep a running tally of time on all of its memories? That seems like just an enormously complex task... well it must be, the brain doesn't really do it very well. But to keep a running record of time on your memories... wow, that is just incredible. And just how in the name of Mary the Virgin does your brain do that? Is there some master accumulation of time that memories are compared to? Does each accumulate on its own? Is it is some mechanism far cooler than anything I could ever possibly think of? My god. This is too much and it is too late... I will finish this thought some other time.

Well yeah... okay then.

 January 8, 2002  8.03pm est  - Togaen

Huh... Milk-Bones are sorta good. I think I will have another one.

 January 8, 2002  6.00pm est  - Togaen

I just got my new glasses yesterday... I can see.

"He sees you..."

I am having complete sensory overload, with everything in focus I'm having trouble concentrating on anything. Believe it or not, these glasses are even more stylin' than my previous pair.

I'm positively giddy. As soon as one precariously perched piece might fall into place, a whole new leaf will divide from the tree and fall upon its face- an impact to be felt by the multitudes. These are exciting times to be alive.

 January 6, 2002  10.49pm est  - Togaen

My dad is so funny. Yesterday morning... well, by morning I mean afternoon... I came downstairs and he was sitting on the couch in pajamas watching Animal Planet and had presumably been doing so since he'd awoke. Then he went out to the kitchen, did some dishes, made some coffee, didn't talk much, quite downcast, obviously in one of his doom and gloom moods (weird, it's like he's related to me). Then my brother called and told him he was bringing the dog over and my dad got all excited, cleaned up the house, made a big lunch, took a shower... ahhhh man....

Guess you had to be there.

 January 6, 2002  9.31pm est  - Togaen

I really don't know how I manage to do it... that is, spend so much time on this website. I think that if somewhere there was a running tally of time I've put into this conglomeration of ons and offs it would, measured in hours, easily be near the thousands.

It's weird how it just never gets old. Everything else I do I get tired of after awhile... but not this. I've got several dovetailing theories for to account for this, but in interest of keeping myself from being put under heavy medication, I shall not share. Not that I wouldn't mind heavy medication... it's just expensive. I could say that in place of heavy medication I have this site. Which is expensive in its own right, but it draws a currency which I have great wealth of- time.

Weirder than that is, prior to that first post down there, I hadn't even looked at it in almost three months. Hadn't even really thought of it. Then one day I brought it up again and the obsession began anew. But perhaps more controlled this time. That seems like an odd habit of mine- pick something up, carry it for awhile, put it away and then repeat; and with each iteration become more honed and more refined. That's how I learned HTML. I initially looked it up, played with it for awhile to some positively horrific results, then packed it away in the back of my mind. Some time later I revisited, this time with some not so horrific results. Then again, and then again, and now I come and go as I please with some rather crafty results. This seems to be how I handle everything... I wonder how common this is, if anyone shares my dementia, please divulge yourself.

It's so nice to see snow again.

 January 2, 2002  7.11pm est  - Togaen

Wow... I seriously didn't think I was going to make it there for awhile.

 December 30, 2001  9.19pm est  - Togaen

"Sometime soon I'll put up a site better than yours just to piss you off.. so you better enjoy the glory now damn it!"

As of this moment it has been 1 year, 1 month, 24 days, 6 hours and 38 minutes since that was said. So far, this is all that's come of it.

I'm not smug... really... I'm not... ; )

Speaking of time, my wrist watch keeps it far better than my computer does. I just pinged a time server and my computer was off by 2½ minutes... my watch was off by 43 seconds. Hm, I don't know what to make of that.

 December 30, 2001  7.16pm est  - Togaen

this is cool
this is cool
this is cool too
this is cool
and this is cool

I've had a very productive day today... I fixed my vacuum cleaner, cleaned my room, in the space of about two hours I gave my keyboard a very extensive cleaning (wow did it need it), then I did something, then I did something else, then I came back and... well that's it, I've been lazy since then. On the whole, though, far more than I am used to doing. I'm just kinda worried now that I may have done too much and left myself nothing for tomorrow... we shall see.

Gosh it's like I have a new keyboard, I love it.

What mechanism in the brain allows for keeping time? This has always fascinated me. How does your brain measure time and how accurately does it do so? My thinking is that there is some capacitor type organ or gland that filles up with ions and then empties on a regular basis due to it's molecular structure or something like that. I wonder actually if the brain has anything to do with it... I bet that it's separate from the brain- separate from higher brain functions anyway and certainly not in the cerebrum, I bet it's primary function is to control heartbeats and the brains just uses those pulses to interperet time that has passed. Hm. Yes that makes some sense, and allows for percieved temporal distortion; you know like when you're developing equations to predict movements on a Rubik's cube and hours pass like minutes becaues you're have so much fun? Of course you do. I mean, if the same part of your brain that allows time to fly like that also controlled your heartbeats... that would suck...

Why do I always leave the lights of my car on? Why?

One of those articles I linked above coincides very well with my first post that lingers somewhere farther down on this page. Eerily so. I think I'm on to something.

I wonder when I'm going to post this stuff again?

 December 29, 2001  11.54pm est  - Togaen

You know, I can't believe I'd forgotten that... it was so wonderful, it was like candy.

A man said to the universe: "Sir, I exist!" "However," replied the universe, "that does not create in me any sense of obligation."

I'm sitting here staring off into space and the clock says 11.40pm; I wonder if I can make until tomorrow before I'm through. More than likely.

Oh to hell with it. God does not play dice my ass. "This world is bullshit!" you tell 'em girl. It's interesting to see really, and it's everywhere. The proof is in the pudding, as some proverbial grandmother would say. This adherence to statistic and chance is almost frightening.

But one cannot forget the monkies, this much is true. I don't know... never did really. "I've spent so many years in question / to find I've known this all along". I never cease to be amazed. Never. Everytime it just floors me. What can the world say about itself? Nothing. Don't tell it to speak up.

I've got several projects in tow; almost just enough to keep my mind from playing out of bounds.

This will certainly be an odd one.

 December 29, 2001  4.04pm est  - Togaen

Hmmm... an hour spent working a website that is not publicly available. Such is my life. The e-mail service has been discontinued. It was fun, but honestly, no one was ever going to use it.

 December 28, 2001  11.33pm est  - Togaen

Huh. I completely forgot. Nine days ago was the birthday of my website- now entering it's terrible two's.

Funny how ladders do that.

 December 28, 2001  1.22am est  - Togaen

Under certain circumstances time will coil like a great snake and become a crown upon your head... and under it's weight your head will fall into your hands, being unable to keep itself upright. The snake seeps into your brain and follows its tail endlessly, endlessly scales reflect past and present. The snake, in your head, cannot move to the future.

 December 28, 2001  12.14am est  - Togaen

Going on two and a half months with nothing written here... my longest departure to date. Perhaps a good thing. Perhaps a bad. Not mine to judge. It's strange to look into a mirror and wonder who it is you're looking at- even after you realize it is yourself. I often wonder about things, deep things, shallow things, vapid things and intricate things; most of all I wonder what my wondering is for, I don't like not knowing things, it drives me insane... mystery. A love/hate relationship with the unknown, I seek it out with fervor and lust with only a mind to destroy it- yet I would refuse a world without it.

In the English language it is three letters and one syllable, this most powerful product of evolution. A notion, a whim, an idea that makes the human animal the pinnacle of creation, that renders us the most powerful force among living things. Although as with any such powerful tool it can be as equally destructive as it is constructive. Use it discriminately.

It's a rather frightening prospect to realize that you have no control over your own thoughts. This came to me last night. Thoughts materialize as bubbles from a vat of secret brew that some reticent gremlin is stirring to boil deep within your own head; your only choice in the matter is your reaction to them. I don't like not being in control, especially of myself. This idea snowballed and as its growing sphere sped down the mountain of my awareness I categorized more and more particulars of the self that are under no jurisdiction of the conscience. What is your favourite color? Why do you have the hobbies you do? Why do you like the foods you do? Why do you choose to do the things you do? Why do you feel the way you do about anything, everything, anyone, everyone? Answer, if you dare, then ask yourself 'why' again. It's a short time before you get to this answer for each and every one of them: "I don't know, I just do". Consciousness is an illusion. We're an amalgamate of inherent interests and interests as functions of environment. The only "conscious" thought you have is your reaction to stimuli and even that is dictated solely by these inborn and hardwired preferences and desires. Where in the person, in this mess of conditional operators, is there room for the person? I have it that the human race is an incubator for a new species. Within the neurons of each and everyone, pieces of awareness are coming together and in time will finally form a whole. Then again, I have alot of time on my hands.

Have you ever wondered how glue works? No? Yes? If you haven't, you should have, if you have, you're not alone. Alot of people wonder that very same thing. Especially the people that make it.

Parts of this site have changed. I am always doing something.

 October 15, 2001 10.59pm est - Togaen

Hmm... ever get mixed up on ICQ? Damn thing, bad timing can just mess everything up.

 October 14, 2001 5.43am est - Togaen

"If everyone were forced to drop a hit of Ecstasy tonight no one would raise arms again ever. They would fuck all through the night. They would fuck their anger away. They would find biochemical love and realize that none of us are different, just confused.

You can go die for your country or some fucking holy war. I'll sit here and watch it on TV."


 October 4, 2001 9.15pm est - Dave

As I sit here in class, I think to myself, wow I wish I was a kid again. Well, I've been thinking about this for awhile now. It kicked into my head when I was getting my hair cut and this little girl walks in and one of the stylist starts to laugh and joke with the little girl and I thought to myself, "gosh, I wish I was a kid again". In a way, when you are a kid, you have no worries. Well, atleast not important ones. Everyday you go to elementary school and you laugh and play and make fun of the fat/stupid kid or get made fun of. But you're in elementary school, you're just a kid. Anyway, after school you'd come home and tell your mom what you did at school and how it was then you'd go out and play with your friends. No worries. You were free. I mean, free as in according to being a kid. I mean school was easy, you had no bills to pay, you didn't have to worry about having a girlfriend cuz according to all the boys they had coodies, and you don't have many bad memories cuz your life is basically just beginning. Even if you were asian and you were made fun of all the time, there were more times when I was happy, then when I actually had to worry about anything. And honestly, when I was a little kid, I actually hoped I would be a kid forever. When I say kid I mean 5 or 6 years old. Just to clear that up. When you're a kid, you're free and that's the truth. Some kids don't get that priviledge to be free but in their minds, they can be free. Anyway, I'm getting lost in this lecture so I'll finish later. But my main point I wanted to get across is that I just want to be a kid again. Oh..anyway, I'll post again later. Wild Dragon over and out.

 October 4, 2001 12.07pm est - Togaen

Wow... I just ate green bean casserol that was older than I am. Seriously. The can of beans was dated 1979.

It was good. I think I'll have some more.

 October 4, 2001 10.40am est - Togaen

Okay, I just reread my previous post and it may not the most coherent thing in the world, but dammit, neither am I. At least it makes sense and besides, I make no promises with any of this stuff anyway... ; )

 October 4, 2001 9.12am est - Togaen

This article is the hugest pile of crap I have ever read. Check this out:

"Microsoft is going to launch Windows XP on October 25th in New York City's Times Square--a place that can surely use a morale lift right now. Thank you Bill Gates, your launch plan is a great gesture. It is one that Microsoft can be proud of and one that will surely be remembered as helping New York City recover from a great tragedy and returning it to its proper place in the business and cultural world."

I didn't make that up, that's what the article says. The whole thing is about XP and whether it will boost the tech world or some damn stupid thing like that. The article doesn't say anything though, it just prattles on, meaningless phrases dripping from the puppeteered mouth... I should specify that this article is on MSN; and if you've ever read anything on MSN you know instantly that if it's there, it's stupid. I swear to god that place has a target demographic of three year olds. Seriously, I made the mistake of reading some articles they had... and I could physically feel myself getting stupid.


Stuff like this just drives me up the wall, this article about XP is a prime example of something that should never ever be published. If anyone can read it and honestly tell me they even know what the author is talking about, they're a better student than I. I mean, the title of the article is "Will Windows XP provide a boost for tech?" with the subtitle: The technology industry could use a lift right now. The question is, can the launch of Windows XP on October 25th in New York City's Times Square fit the bill?, which is great and all, rather banal, but has potential. Then you start reading, and the first paragraph is the one quoted above... and you think, "Jesus, what have I got myself into." Then you keep reading, and realize that the article has nothing to do with the title. Christ, didn't these people go to school?? Hello, anyone home?? The article is actually about whether or not IT professionals should consider the upgrade.

"Of course any of you who insist that your operations run on the latest technology from Microsoft will want to move over to Windows XP just as soon as Mayor Giuliani and Bill Gates pull the string that launches Windows XP and helps re-launch some morale New York City. But the real bottom line is really the usual one that sooner or later Microsoft will no longer support or even offer Windows 2000 Professional and its software products will only run on Windows XP, and when that day comes, you'll all have to move over, and so will I."

And that's how the article ends, an extremely poorly written conclusion that pretty much negates the rest of the article. He was talking about whether or not the tech world should upgrade and then ends it by saying 'oh, but it doesn't really matter, you'll have to do it eventually anyway'. What a flamer. The guy writing this obviously works for Microsoft because he neglated to mention that it might not be a bad idea to just not use Windows... there are other operating systems; something I would definately consider after reading this:

"Gartner recommends that enterprises hit by both Code Red and Nimda immediately investigate alternatives to IIS, including moving Web applications to Web server software from other vendors, such as iPlanet and Apache."

It just really bothers me because alot of people read MSN, and alot of those people are ignorant about his kind of stuff. Not that it's anything against them, they just aren't up on it; but if you feed ignorant people ignorant views and false information, the only type of thing that can result is "bad".

 October 4, 2001 12.27am est - Togaen

A mutually beneficial existance, a symbiosis of spirit and mind will meld and pour into the conjugate caverns the indivisible remainder.

Welcome to the world; enjoy your stay.

 October 3, 2001 2.43pm est - Togaen

God dammit, when will I quit screwing around with my website... eh... well I suppose that's a dumb question.

If you haven't yet read that Onion article, you must do so; yes, it's that good. I linked it above in my little outburst... I mean, if it can strike a chord with me, you know it's got to be something special.

 October 1, 2001 10.09pm est - Togaen

The Onion has had some good articles, but I think this one is one of their best... everyone should read it.

 September 30, 2001 10.29pm est - Togaen

Shit, I did pooch screw one of those quotes, thanks to Tyson via Audra proxy for da heads up on that one.

Okay... really going this time.

 September 30, 2001 10.20pm est - Togaen

Okay, there is just one more section that I have to revise until I will officially consider this -/ixtus v3. What the hell is -/ixtus? It was the original title for my website, so after this one section, I'll be on the third iteration of my beautiful site. Aren't you all thrilled?

"echo the sound... of silence"

Yeah, thought so, anyway I actually just wanted an excuse to write one more update 'cause I think this new look is peachy keen; I'm really leaving this time.

 September 30, 2001 9.48pm est - Togaen

Holy gods. This CD rocks so much... I... I... just don't know how to describe it... jebus... I listen to it all the time now, it just rocks more and more. I think I've been going through major thrash metal withdrawls, and now, oh god now, now all that pent up energy is exploding out with this music... it's so cathardic, such a pleasant expenditure.

Everyone go buy it, right now.

Anyhoozle. I did a few things to the site, and now I am going to finish my coffee and go to bed...

...I know, I know.

 September 30, 2001 6.10pm est - Togaen

Told you I'd find something to change; tables are so much fun to play with. It's kinda weird though, since I type these within my HTML editor I have all the code staring at me and since I've changed it, it isn't nearly as easy to tell where my text entry point is.

Jesus I'm a nerd.

 September 30, 2001 10.30am est - Togaen

 September 29, 2001 7.23pm est - Togaen


 September 29, 2001 6.44am est - Togaen

I had a dream about a new start menu for Windows, and it was pretty cool. It was just kind of a bluish box that sat in the middle of the screen with all favourite programs and such neatly (and colourfully) organized, and there were menus and such that slid out of it; I want one.

 September 28, 2001 3.54pm est - Togaen

I got back from a walk awhile ago, and of all the damn times to not have a camera... I saw the neatest thing; a mother wolf spider with many hundreds, maybe thousands, of baby spiders on her back. She was crawling along the side of the track, so weighted down by her babies she could barely move.

Damn my luck.

 September 28, 2001 10.22am est - Togaen

This is cool, check this out.

 September 27, 2001 12.33pm est - Togaen

Welcome to My Life Lite, now with 20% less scrolling.

Oh yeah, Tyson authored a second song... it's like an orgasm with syllables.

 September 25, 2001 11.47pm est - Togaen

Man, I knew Testament was good, but I just downloaded one of their songs that I'd heard awhile ago... and they are not just good, they are damn good. I'm going to buy that album A.S.A.P.

And I suggest you do the same.

Testament:: Gathering.

 September 25, 2001 2.40pm est - Togaen

Oh I almost forgot, Tyson wrote a song whose lyrical genious would make Dave Matthews jealous... of course, even this guy's lyrics would make Dave Matthews jealous... but everyone must read Tyson's Song; it is liquid brilliance.

 September 25, 2001 1.25pm est - Togaen

Okay, in theory everything is back; but there is a reason theory is not necessarily reality, so if something is dead or doesn't work, tell me.

My mouse is starting to die too, dammit.

 September 24, 2001 9.14pm est - Togaen

I just did a complete overhaul on the site's directory structure, reworked the news archiving format, further standardized font coloring, and even added some old stuff I did in high school.

I feel like a... well let's not go into that. My meddlings were so extensive that rather than just upload what files I changed, I deleted the whole site and reloaded the damn thing.

Am I the only one that organizes directories for fun? I can't be... well... maybe I can; you should see my hard drive. It would make Marth Stewart green.

Every time I do something like this I think, "after I do this, I'll pretty much be done, there isn't much else to change..." yet somehow I always find a way to piddle away six or seven hours on some lonely night. I haven't quite decided if that's an admirable trait or not, I'd think it would be... but then what do I know.

I came to a realization earlier too, I spend more time talking to myself by at least a factor of three or four than I do to anyone else. How cool is that? It takes talent I guess.

Anyway, I'd actually hoped it would take longer... as now, I've nothing to do. Oh well.

 September 24, 2001 1.11pm est - Togaen

Best. Joke. Evar.

Check Tristan's Dictum for what I'm talking about.

Jesus Christ I ate too much, oh my god I'm going to explode... but damn was it good... mmmm... what's this I feel? Some room in my stomach? No rest for the wicked! There's a wild berry muffin calling my name.

I did, at one point in the morning, have something valueable I wanted to say; but it left, and if it shall return so shall I, though for now, au revoir.

 September 22, 2001 5.42pm est - Togaen

The ants go marching one by one,
hoorah, hoorah,
The ants go marching one by one,
hoorah, hoorah...

I don't know the rest, or for that matter why I typed what I did know.

Anyway, remember that cactus that I had to repot so long ago because my cat was evil? Well check this out:

I didn't know it was possible to be proud or happy of or for a cactus... but that just kinda made my day.

Yeah shut up, I'm weird alright.

 September 21, 2001 10.51pm est - Togaen

Here's the plan, I stay up as late as I can, so that tomorrow when I go into work I am so miserably drunk with fatigue I simply won't be cognizant of the myriad sufferings of my worthless life.

But first, a bowl of ice cream.

 September 21, 2001 4.25pm est - Togaen

Remember that car I bought well over three weeks ago? Well I figured it was about time I register it... darn those pesky formalities anyway. So I'm legal now, aren't you all thrilled? Yeah, thought so.

 September 21, 2001 10.13am est - Togaen

Hm. Well I don't know about that Q33NY thing, I looked around couldn't find out if that was actually the flight... but it's still neat.

 September 20, 2001 8.25am est - Togaen

Wow, check this out, Q33NY was one of the planes that hit the twin towers, right? well take:


And change the font to Wingdings:


Freaky, eh? I have to give credit for that one to my Kiwi comrade, Lady Cholet. It just occured to me that some people, for some reason, may not have the Wingdings font, so this is what it looks like:

Q33NY in Wingdings

 September 19, 2001 9.06pm est - Togaen

Oh my god... I just thought of something so weird, so funny, so strange I just have to share it with everyone; picture this scenario, what if Tool and AC/DC switched drummers.

That would just be... if anyone can think of a stronger word than weird, that's what it would be. I would be first in line to a concert, though, if that happened. Wow.

 September 19, 2001 8.28pm est - Togaen

Of all the damned stupid things... a great blasphemy has occured. We all know what kind of a masterpiece Cube was, well, I have some very sad, grave news to report: they're making a sequel. It's to be called Cube 2: Hypercube.


I was going to relay the story... but christ, it is so gay I don't think I could type it without retching all over my keyboard. You want the link? Too bad, I'm not such a callous and uncaring person as to do that to a fellow man.

It's going to be just like the first one... with the notable exception of being stupid and lame where the first was awesome and kewl. I just don't understand the mentality of movie companies... I just... don't... understand... too... much... dumb... must... listen... to... Tool...

Ahhh, well, it's actually A Perfect Circle, but just as good. Speaking of which, I was reading through some stuff and came across this quote of Maynard James Keenan regarding his thoughts on Napster:

"My music is not yours to give."

I thought that was cool. In other news, I've been doing little things to the site all over the place, more out of boredom than anything, but it's starting to be more consistant and more filling, in that, alot of the colours are either the same or similar and I'm just adding things here and there.

 September 18, 2001 9.07pm est - Togaen

Yay, it's done it's done.

ahhhhhhh... dammit.

 September 18, 2001 12.23pm est - Togaen

I heard on Paul Harvey that Bush addressed New York and said, "The people that did this will be hearing from us very soon." then Harvey said someone had a weather forecast for Afghanistan... cloudy and ten thousand degrees; which I thought was kinda clever, but I swear to god if we nuke them I'm leaving the country.

 September 18, 2001 8.20am est - Togaen

I did something last night... something horrible. That's right, I watched TV. Oh it was awful. I left the safety of Animal Planet and Discovery and ventured into seedy territory. It's mostly a blur of pain and confusion, but I do remember coming upon one of the Mtv channels... and do you know what I saw? Do you have any idea what I saw? I saw a bunch of old fat white guys doing a country rap video.

I was too shocked to move.

I mean, it sounded like rap, nothing special there, they acted like rappers, nothing special there... but they were white, and they were in a barnyard, in overalls, driving tractors instead of cadillacs...

teh horror... teh horror...

I was kinda hoping it was just a gag, ya know, like a Weird Al type thing, but the song sounded serious... I dunno, anyway after that a Britney Spears video came on and about twenty seconds into that I recovered enough to come to my senses and go back upstairs and read a book. That Spears video gave me a realization though... I finally figured out why she's so popular. It's not because of her voice, which is really awful, I mean, it physically hurts to listen to; if you made a three year old smoke two packs a day for four years, that's about what Britney's voice is like. It's not because of her songs, which are just lame, but it's because of her videos... my god, she's like a damn stripper up there. What that has to do with music I have no idea, but apparently it works.

The music industry may be on to something here, I mean, if Britney can sell lackluster music on the basis of overt sexual innuendo, I don't see how you couldn't apply that elsewhere... hmm... this may usher in a whole new era of advertising. Can you imagine what the world would be like if companies sold, say, Herbal Essences not on the basis of it's inherent qualities regarding hair care, but instead that on some illusory basis it related to positive sexuality?

I shudder at the thought... I'll stick with my media how it is, thank you! Honest, straightforward, nothing but the facts; that's what I like about today's advertising.

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