There once was a man named Dave,
He tried to play Quake, the silly knave
Reflexes of a sloth
Sturdy as wet cloth
He thought he was good, his talents rare,
turns out the poor sap was playing solitaire
So along comes Jeff to show him how it's done,
and oh how feces from his rectum run!
I introduced him to pain,
hell upon him I rained
And still said faggot taunted with dare:
"I'll rape your nuts, rip out your pubic hair!
I'll sling my slug straight into your face,
and blast your sack far into space!"
So with glee I opened my cabinet of glass,
and withdrew an extra large helping of whoop-ass
I layed the smack down thick 'round blistered eye,
I pushed, shoved and tore at rug burned thigh,
and from the hole where he should pee
you could now sail the greatest ship of the sea,
and through the hole where he once shat
lays an immense gaping vat,
of rockets, bullets, shells, and flesh
which we now know as Dave, quite the bloody mess,
So now and for all, this Quake pussy knows
upon whose nuts the biggest cock grows
And never again
shall his stretch-marked lips utter such blasphemies
as those uttered before, for now he wears panties,
And the world knows now surely as the gods have wills,
That I am the ultimate Quake God, PH34r mY l33t 5k1llz!