The Adventures of Crack Dog: Pt. 1
By: Tristan "I gave a certain someone the clap" Reitz



EVIL LURKS IN THE HEARTS OF MAN



The morning was foggier than it usually was in southern Germany. Mist was everywhere and surrounded everything in its path. This morning was unusual......and Crack Dog knew it. Knew it like she knows crack.

The sun penetrated the windows and glinted in the eyes of Lika...a.k.a. Crack Dog. Lika could not tell anyone her secret identity. If word got out that she was a super hero who smoked crack...than she would be ruined. She would no longer be known as the quiet and shy dog down the street, but the brave and adventurous Crack Dog that everyone in Germany had depended on for help and safety. The consequences were too much for her to think about....instead she decided to bite something. That would help her forget about her troubles AND last night. Ohhhh last night...she could not believe last night. It was one of the worst nights that she could remember....granted, Crack Dog cannot remember a lot, but she sure remembered last night.

The trouble started several weeks ago when the crack supply had been going down consistently for a long time. No one knew why. The official Crack inspector of the world, Tristan Reitz, was called in but he could not figure out what had been happening. If these trends continued then the crack supply would be gone within months. This scared Crack dog more than anything she could ever have imagine. A world with no crack is not a world Lika wanted to live in. So last night Crack dog decided to investigate this horrible crime against humanity. The investigation lead to a local crack farm, where Crack dog was on a stakeout to try to find the criminal. At around 2 A.M Crack dog heard some strange noise, that almost put her to sleep. It was so rhythmic, yet dumb. She could not find out what the sound was. Crack dog managed to stay awake for a couple minutes because after all crack dog does not go to sleep easily. But after a while the sound put her into a comma. She awoke several hours later and all the crack had been STOLEN!!!! Crack dog could not believe this. A thousand emotions ran through her, anger, hatred, the need for crack. She was so upset, and decided to go back home for some more rest. That is what she needed.

" I have to do something" thought Lika......"but what, buuttttt what"

She thought for several seconds and then saw something move and decided to bite it. It turned out to be a sock falling off a table, so it took Lika several minutes to calm down after this exciting event.

"Ok the sock thing is over" said Lika panting from all the running around "now I must think......where could all the crack be?, Who would be so cruel..so incredibly un holy...and steal the world’s crack supply??" And then a shudder ran down her spine.

"Oh dear god NO!" she barked " It cannot be.. He would Not do that....that is so..soo....un crack like" Right then Lika ran towards the door and ran head first into it. This failed to break the door, but she would not give up. There was one thing Lika does not do and that is give up. After she hit the door several hundred times with her head, the wood started to splinter and Crack Dog ran out like a flash of lightning...on crack.

Lika ran down the Autobahn faster than most of the cars. Crack can do strange things to a person...or a dog in Lika’s case.

The first place Crack Dog stopped was at an abandoned warehouse right next to the small German town of Schweternuberkensthunkinedergurburg. As she walked toward the back door Lika saw a small pile of white powder.

"A HA!!!" said Crack Dog " I am willing to bet all my brain cells that this pile of white powder is not sugar"

Like bent down and sniffed

"CRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK!!" said Lika "I knew it!!"

Crack dog then quietly pushed the back door open. She could hear the light hum of machinery working inside of a large dirty room.

"What could all this be?" she thought

Lika then moved into the room and looked around, trying to find someone or something that she could recognize. All that hitting her head on the door had made Crack Dog a little dizzy, but she tried to stay focused and on task. Right then she heard a door close and footsteps coming towards her!! Crack Dog quickly hid behind some boxes. The footsteps came closer and closer but then stopped. Like peeked around the boxes and saw a large man working on something.

" HAHAHHAHAHA... All this crack...and I stole it" said the large man " I cannot believe how easy it was..my plan of world domination is ALMOST complete. The man then picked up a large section of crack. It looked almost like a brick.

" With all this Crack....I will be able to rule the world. And the people of earth will not even know what is coming."

Crack dog was confused and could not understand what the man was talking about. "How will he rule the world with crack?" She asked herself. The man then turned around and put the brick of crack into a machine. After some cutting and polishing the brick of crack came out the other end looking quite a bit different. Lika could not make out exactly what it looked like.

"HAHAHAHHA" laughed the man again " With The world’s crack supply I can make Bass guitars entirely out of crack!! HAHAHAHAH !!"

Crack Dog’s ears perked up.

"Oh no! I was right!!! It is that evil sinster John Tonne!!!! How could he steal the world’s crack and turn them into Guitars?!! The bastard!! I will have to stop this horrible plot against the world. But how??!!"



WILL CRACK DOG BE ABLE TO SAVE THE WORLD FROM THE EVIL JOHN TONNE, WHO IS TRYING TO STEAL ALL THE CRACK OF THE WORLD AND MAKE THEM INTO BASS GUITARS??

TUNE IN NEXT WEEK FOR ADVENTURES OF CRACK DOG PART 2